Trauma Responses Hidden Inside “Medical Resilience”

In the hereditary cancer community, like in so many communities, trauma is often masked by courage. People are praised for being proactive—getting tested, staying strong, fighting battles, kicking cancer’s ass, surviving surgeries, “doing what needs to be done…”

Yet underneath that competence, there is often a nervous system that has been running on overdrive for months or years.
The fight-flight-freeze (even fawning) responses that once protected them from unbearable fear, grief, or uncertainty can start to show up as anxiety, depression, irritability, medical avoidance, disconnection from the body, depression, or a loss of intimacy in relationships.

These are not signs of weakness. They are the body’s intelligent attempts to regulate unbearable experiences in an environment that demands control when control is impossible.

Why a Developmental Trauma Lens Matters

As a therapist deeply trained in developmental and complex trauma—and a Master Therapist in the NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM)—I understand how early attachment patterns and survival adaptations live in the body.
When a person faces cancer— and even cancer risk— those same survival templates can re-activate: The deep sense that we are broken or unworthy, the fear of being a burden, the pressure to stay strong, focus on others, or the way we simply shutdown when we feel too much.

In our work together, we slow down these automatic responses with respect rather than judgment. By bringing mindful attention to the sensations, emotions, and beliefs that surface, clients begin to integrate the parts of themselves that disconnected in order to survive—whether that disconnection began in childhood or during their medical crisis.

Here, we are not focusing on “getting over” cancer or risk, we are focusing on restoring connection: coming home to your body, your relationships, and your sense of aliveness.

The Process of Re-Organization

In therapy, we explore what you needed to disconnect from in order to survive, and how those same protections might now be impacting you— your capacity for rest, for joy, for intimacy and for peace.
Together, we don’t try and “fix” what’s “wrong.” We honor the wisdom of your body and create a space to allow it to unwind what you are holding. We bring our attention and intention to what you are experiencing, and honor what you went through. Together, we explore a space where fear can coexist with love, vigilance can soften into presence, and you can experience safety not just as the absence of threat, but as the felt sense of being supported, seen, and whole.